I don’t feel like writing.
About, one in a billion Indian capable of human excellence.
It is ironically the same probability as one sperm cell in a billion capable of fertility.
Point is we are still not impotent.
Abhinav Bindra has proven that point.
Olympics were about human excellence within the realms of societal norms.
It was never about countries.
India anyway is not a country. Some say it’s a continent, I say it is a rather large village.
Indians are either above human Endeavour’s or haven’t reached the ladder of evolution as yet.
Performance at Olympics should not be taken too seriously.
I also do not feel like writing about India’s 61st birthday.
Mr. Singh, sucking up to the Madam from the ramparts of the Red Fort.
Shame on you and us is including me, for keeping you there.
Not even about Georgia, braving the Russians.
Even more I do not feel like writing about me,
As I am stuck in a giant swirl,
I can feel being slowly making rounds around the whole, going an inch lower after every round.
It is one of these moments when everything seems going wrong.
I am dying to see a different me tomorrow morning.
I am trying to escape this situation in my mind, knowing that in the morning I again to start fighting the same odds again.
This is a loser’s game, anyway you play it.
But then I do not feel like this or that.
All I feel like is,
Keeping my eyes closed, head resting on a soft cushion, hazy dreams, some in control and many let loose.
Face resting on a lap, hair being caressed, hands probing.
That this night would come some day and it would never have a morning.
Well at least I still feel something.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Not Enough
Some times, problems of people around you are more important than the situations you are going through. In a way, empathy is an advantage as your immediate botheration is actually fictitious as it does not really mean much to you.
But it is quite strange; there are two events that I am being bothered about these days.
First, my brothers, wound dressing. Every third day, cleaning and dressing some nine major wounds and another 8 smaller injuries. I can’t stand the site of hospital or the smell. The site of an open wound makes everything in my stomach start churning and reaches my esophagus.
I think I know the scientific reason, primarily being that the body starts to believe that it is going under the same stress as the site it is witnessing and thus tries to switch it self off, before the pain gets unbearable. It is like crying while watching a movie.
Second is a stress that a friend is going through. Her mother has been diagnosed stage IIIB of Cervical cancer. She lost her father a few years back and not all is well at other personal level. It is difficult for women, especially in India, to face such situations. This is a stage where she is cutoff from the rest of her past. As in shoulders she can call her own, related by blood will be too a few. She is now left with an uncertain today and tomorrow. People though are her own, but prejudiced in these modern times. Who are only waiting to prove a point?
It is so easy to drift away in a smoky oblivion, with such a situation. All creativity and skills will be lost. Some, including me will loose a friend and many will loose a professional help.
There are no scientific explanations for this. My mind can’t switch off itself from this deluge. Neither I am capable of doing much about it.
Some times enough is not enough.
But it is quite strange; there are two events that I am being bothered about these days.
First, my brothers, wound dressing. Every third day, cleaning and dressing some nine major wounds and another 8 smaller injuries. I can’t stand the site of hospital or the smell. The site of an open wound makes everything in my stomach start churning and reaches my esophagus.
I think I know the scientific reason, primarily being that the body starts to believe that it is going under the same stress as the site it is witnessing and thus tries to switch it self off, before the pain gets unbearable. It is like crying while watching a movie.
Second is a stress that a friend is going through. Her mother has been diagnosed stage IIIB of Cervical cancer. She lost her father a few years back and not all is well at other personal level. It is difficult for women, especially in India, to face such situations. This is a stage where she is cutoff from the rest of her past. As in shoulders she can call her own, related by blood will be too a few. She is now left with an uncertain today and tomorrow. People though are her own, but prejudiced in these modern times. Who are only waiting to prove a point?
It is so easy to drift away in a smoky oblivion, with such a situation. All creativity and skills will be lost. Some, including me will loose a friend and many will loose a professional help.
There are no scientific explanations for this. My mind can’t switch off itself from this deluge. Neither I am capable of doing much about it.
Some times enough is not enough.
Friday, August 8, 2008
08.08.08
For the torch they would have lit today.
There were million candles lit yesterday.
The light of the magnificent torch would be faint this time,
Reason being the tiny flame of the frail candle.
The torch would be a symbol of human efforts.
The candle, a symbol of human soul.
Achievement and empathy, both are human nature, and need not have conflict.
Tibet should be free and for Tibetans, the world says so, the human soul lit candles for it.
Olympics from time known have lived with many controversies. States have used it for what they feel is good for their country.
To prove a point, to have told the world that they have reached there.
China is selling itself aggressively, Tibet turns out to be an added sell out, of all its efforts.
Path of commerce will teach china the utility of having Tibet as an autonomous state.
His holiness would not be there to see the day, but it will happen, very soon.
The candle will surely light up many a human souls.
“And it seems to me you lived your lifelike a candle in the windnever knowing who to cling towhen the rain set in”
-Sir Elton john- for Norma jean- marlyn Monroe and Princess Diana.
There were million candles lit yesterday.
The light of the magnificent torch would be faint this time,
Reason being the tiny flame of the frail candle.
The torch would be a symbol of human efforts.
The candle, a symbol of human soul.
Achievement and empathy, both are human nature, and need not have conflict.
Tibet should be free and for Tibetans, the world says so, the human soul lit candles for it.
Olympics from time known have lived with many controversies. States have used it for what they feel is good for their country.
To prove a point, to have told the world that they have reached there.
China is selling itself aggressively, Tibet turns out to be an added sell out, of all its efforts.
Path of commerce will teach china the utility of having Tibet as an autonomous state.
His holiness would not be there to see the day, but it will happen, very soon.
The candle will surely light up many a human souls.
“And it seems to me you lived your lifelike a candle in the windnever knowing who to cling towhen the rain set in”
-Sir Elton john- for Norma jean- marlyn Monroe and Princess Diana.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Story For Your Grief
A friend is going through a bad phase.
On an earlier similar occasion, I had said “don’t worry, thank your luck, it could have been worse.” Not a very good thing to say at troubled times. But here is a story, maybe this will help.
A king like all other kings had a wise man accompanying him in all his endeavors.
Once the king lost his finger in a battle, and the wise man said “what ever happens for the best”.
The king got angry, how could loosing my finger be good.
Promptly the man was chained and sent to the prison.
Few days later the king went for a hunt, got lost and was captured by some tribal cannibals.
While they were offering him to the gods, they noticed his cut Finger and left him loose as he was physically unfit for the gods.
Happy to get his life back, he remembered the wise mans words, immediately went to him, freed him and apologized to him.
Wise man said again “what ever happens for the best”.
Yeah1 damn right, the king jubilantly said.
I go with you everywhere, all the time, if you would not have imprisoned me, even I would have got caught with you, and the tribal’s would have though left you, they would have surely sacrificed me. The wise man said.
(I know it doesn’t help much, but there is always a parallel world and a series of events that could have happened if not this, maybe, this will be some solace)
With you in your grief.
On an earlier similar occasion, I had said “don’t worry, thank your luck, it could have been worse.” Not a very good thing to say at troubled times. But here is a story, maybe this will help.
A king like all other kings had a wise man accompanying him in all his endeavors.
Once the king lost his finger in a battle, and the wise man said “what ever happens for the best”.
The king got angry, how could loosing my finger be good.
Promptly the man was chained and sent to the prison.
Few days later the king went for a hunt, got lost and was captured by some tribal cannibals.
While they were offering him to the gods, they noticed his cut Finger and left him loose as he was physically unfit for the gods.
Happy to get his life back, he remembered the wise mans words, immediately went to him, freed him and apologized to him.
Wise man said again “what ever happens for the best”.
Yeah1 damn right, the king jubilantly said.
I go with you everywhere, all the time, if you would not have imprisoned me, even I would have got caught with you, and the tribal’s would have though left you, they would have surely sacrificed me. The wise man said.
(I know it doesn’t help much, but there is always a parallel world and a series of events that could have happened if not this, maybe, this will be some solace)
With you in your grief.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Choice Of Life
Ones own or Own ones.
The judiciary had to be used before this too becomes vestigial.
Nikita and Haresh Mehta’s used it well.
And as expected the judge equated MTP with Mercy killing.
This is a point of serious debate.
Mercy Killing is entirely a Medical Issue.
MTP however is not entirely a medical issue, Medical Science is only used for termination.
First is about the utility of law.
Does every thing under the sun have to have a law?
This might not be some trivial issue, but it is bigger than the courts to decide.
Ambit of courts can only be felt to things visible to a society. Physically.
Food unconsumed is fresh, consumed is digested and extract is excreta.
Forms change with stages and processes.
Chemical inside your mouth is Saliva and outside is Spit.
There can’t be a single law for all stages of this process.
There could be food department, health department and finally the local municipality.
Life still inside you is your life; the reason why it is inside you has been your choice. Till it is not visible physically to the society, the choice of its destiny lies with the individual solely.
Process of bringing life is copulation, the organic matter produced is semen or ova, and life’s first stage is at the synthesis. There are a million terminations every day at this stage.
Do we need a law at this stage?
The choice of terminating a life is not an easy one, especially when you are the creator.
A lot has to be left up to the individual and his Dharma to decide on this big issue. Society or its tools are incapable of knowing the intensity of the situation.
Government goes on to decide how many kids you should have, that are by itself an intervention in personal space.
Making individuals incapable of making decisions on their own.
Tools of your elected society members we see in parliament take decisions, as if they have the divine right to do so.
Show them their place.
Mr. Mehta go to the Supreme Court and then to the local quack.
The judiciary had to be used before this too becomes vestigial.
Nikita and Haresh Mehta’s used it well.
And as expected the judge equated MTP with Mercy killing.
This is a point of serious debate.
Mercy Killing is entirely a Medical Issue.
MTP however is not entirely a medical issue, Medical Science is only used for termination.
First is about the utility of law.
Does every thing under the sun have to have a law?
This might not be some trivial issue, but it is bigger than the courts to decide.
Ambit of courts can only be felt to things visible to a society. Physically.
Food unconsumed is fresh, consumed is digested and extract is excreta.
Forms change with stages and processes.
Chemical inside your mouth is Saliva and outside is Spit.
There can’t be a single law for all stages of this process.
There could be food department, health department and finally the local municipality.
Life still inside you is your life; the reason why it is inside you has been your choice. Till it is not visible physically to the society, the choice of its destiny lies with the individual solely.
Process of bringing life is copulation, the organic matter produced is semen or ova, and life’s first stage is at the synthesis. There are a million terminations every day at this stage.
Do we need a law at this stage?
The choice of terminating a life is not an easy one, especially when you are the creator.
A lot has to be left up to the individual and his Dharma to decide on this big issue. Society or its tools are incapable of knowing the intensity of the situation.
Government goes on to decide how many kids you should have, that are by itself an intervention in personal space.
Making individuals incapable of making decisions on their own.
Tools of your elected society members we see in parliament take decisions, as if they have the divine right to do so.
Show them their place.
Mr. Mehta go to the Supreme Court and then to the local quack.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Maybe Vincent
I think I know why do I write this blog?
Maybe because I cant think straight,
Maybe I am trying to give words to my thought, or maybe I am trying to limit my thoughts by giving those words.
Or maybe coz no one is listening so I write to the World Wide Web.
Maybe I do not wish anyone to listen so I write on a screen.
With people around you,
Full of insecurity,
Does not give you the opportunity to feel the same.
It is so easy to blame everyone else other than your self for every thing around you.
The government, your husband, your in-laws, God, the corporate, the neighbor, whole world.
Even after that blame game, why do you cry if the mistake is not yours?
The Debts are high, business is low, and too many ideas too less time, people you cant trust, people who don’t trust you.
Family split wide open, wounds for you to heal.
New relations to tread carefully.
Friends, who are in trouble.
My detachment makes you angry.
I have too many stresses to remember one.
I do not even remember that I have a stress.
Writing to the world, makes me feel free.
Of worries, of hypocrisy, of lies that I have to live day in and out.
I write half truths, the other half is not a lie though.
Its yin of the yang.
Darkness, of the light.
Not many read it, not today at least.
I have labeled the IP Addresses, and I have me and Mr. Hunter keeping the stat counter ticking.
56 in 70 days not a bad score.
And I am not filling pages.
I am writing to myself.
Some day, I can read back, all of them with a sigh.
Now I understandWhat you tried to say, to meAnd how you suffered for your sanityAnd how you tried to set them free:They would not listen; they did not know how --Perhaps they'll listen now.
But I could've told you, Vincent:This world was never meantFor one as beautiful as you.
Maybe because I cant think straight,
Maybe I am trying to give words to my thought, or maybe I am trying to limit my thoughts by giving those words.
Or maybe coz no one is listening so I write to the World Wide Web.
Maybe I do not wish anyone to listen so I write on a screen.
With people around you,
Full of insecurity,
Does not give you the opportunity to feel the same.
It is so easy to blame everyone else other than your self for every thing around you.
The government, your husband, your in-laws, God, the corporate, the neighbor, whole world.
Even after that blame game, why do you cry if the mistake is not yours?
The Debts are high, business is low, and too many ideas too less time, people you cant trust, people who don’t trust you.
Family split wide open, wounds for you to heal.
New relations to tread carefully.
Friends, who are in trouble.
My detachment makes you angry.
I have too many stresses to remember one.
I do not even remember that I have a stress.
Writing to the world, makes me feel free.
Of worries, of hypocrisy, of lies that I have to live day in and out.
I write half truths, the other half is not a lie though.
Its yin of the yang.
Darkness, of the light.
Not many read it, not today at least.
I have labeled the IP Addresses, and I have me and Mr. Hunter keeping the stat counter ticking.
56 in 70 days not a bad score.
And I am not filling pages.
I am writing to myself.
Some day, I can read back, all of them with a sigh.
Now I understandWhat you tried to say, to meAnd how you suffered for your sanityAnd how you tried to set them free:They would not listen; they did not know how --Perhaps they'll listen now.
But I could've told you, Vincent:This world was never meantFor one as beautiful as you.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
I see the Moon and the Moon sees me,
Moon sees that someone I want to see.
God bless Me and God bless the Moon,
God bless that someone I want to see.
Space
Key to making friends and staying friends.
Happy Friendship Day.
Moon sees that someone I want to see.
God bless Me and God bless the Moon,
God bless that someone I want to see.
Space
Key to making friends and staying friends.
Happy Friendship Day.
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