Reflections

Narcissus was a boy who knelt beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning he fell into the lake and drowned.
The lake wept so much in grief that the waters turned salty. When asked why it cried? , and if Narcissus was beautiful?
The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:
“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

I start to reflect, on my own relationships, thanks to friends and their friends.



Living away from my parents from the age of six, I must have known a couple of dozen people that I must have cried for when parting from. Every relationship that I have had reached a certain point where good byes were necessary. Guess, it is the same for everyone. I can only tell about myself.
The memories of old relationships always give me a wet eye and a smile, simultaneously.
Friendship to me was the only relationship worth pursuing.

Then I have a relationship that would never end, that was the commitment. Till death do us apart.
Having a hangover from 24 years of your life is natural.
Me, like a fool was looking for another friend, with whom I could do everything that I couldn't with my earlier roommates. Also I was expecting my partner to behave like my mother when it came to handling my family and then be a business associate and then the most social person I would have ever met, watch Die Hard with me, Make drinks for me, be cuter than Preity, sexier than Bipasha and make love like…. Whoever! Most men I guess have the same problem.

All my life I have had friends and they still remain my friends without taking responsibility for any of them.
There were relationships of romance and still no commitment and I still long for the same.
But then I am a committed man and all can do is long. Expecting that I could have done better and perhaps the feeling is mutual.
This would only make me an unhappy person, living in a situation that I can not change. Making it worse, for both of us.

In days of stressful activity, one forgets to identify the reasons of differences. Fights and makes it up, as carrying on is more important. But when I see the future, both of us, with time on our hands. Are we going to be irrational to our differences or do some soul searching?

In last few months of travel I did get enough time to ponder on my side of the story.
Every time that I narrated a leaf of my history book, where I had a cheerful and smiling face, I could see discontent on the other side. Forcing me to keep my happiness to myself.
Over the years, I learnt to think of my past as my sole area of solitude and bliss.

But as I share them with a friend, I learn to analyze my past. I learn not to make the same mistakes again. Trying, to find a way of keeping my commitments and not the negatives of responsibilities.
I always wanted my spouse to be my friend.
I was wrong in demanding that. A spouse can only be a spouse, maybe a little bit of friend but not all of it.
Similarly she can not be the sole love of my life, or a business partner or my mother. She can perhaps have some shades of all of it. Like the color white.
But to demand just one shade would be sacrilege for both of us. Because I would not really want that.
I can’t share everything with her and would not expect her to share all of them with me.
I can’t live like I lived in a boarding.
I need my space and she needs hers.
If I consider my spouse my responsibility, she would be considering the same.
So I would better understand that she is not my responsibility, in fact no one is.
The biggest responsibility that anyone has is towards oneself.
Friendship also has shades, at times very intimate, and possibly romantic too. But that is no reason for matrimony.
In fact if you wish to end your romance on a bad note get married.
Living is loving. And that is how all husbands and wives love each other; any other form of love is temporary, till you see him or her scratching their butt.

We will have to wait for some time for her to understand this idea, which I think would lead to happiness, for both of us.


I love my past and enjoy thinking about it more than I enjoyed living them. What I do today is going to be a past tense tomorrow. I am only making memories for myself.

As far as my good friends are concerned, you are my guiding star, which help me reach where I wish to go. More than looking at your beauty I reflect myself in your eyes. And when Narcissus was looking at you, he was not looking for your beauty, he was looking at his. I know, even you are looking at your self, in my eyes.

This is the best I can do to justify my lecherous behavior, I am doing it for us darling.