Mystique Smile

You were the same as I have seen you last,
Last night and all the last nights,

In a motion so involuntary,
My hand moved to touch your smile,
Like ripples in still water,
A new dimension opened to my effort,
Though the tips felt a cold of the screen,
The soul got stirred,

I was at the Louvre it seemed,
All by myself among those columns and arches,
And the lady with the mystique smile,
Dwarfed me with her magnificence,

An era rewound,
In a flash of a moment
A dozen years and a zillion memories passed thru my eyes,
Within the closed lids,
Filled an ocean of droplets,
Making a slight pass dropped the most beautiful pearl.
The smile on my face was better than yours.
Yes I did see you smile, in a similar curve.
Reality could never be this romantic.
No, I do not wish anything more than this.
A sight as close as this,
After a prolonged forbidden aura,

Virtual bliss,
Thanks for being around,
Now, how do I close the screen?

Prerna- a real inspiration

It used to be small class of 25 odd students in our sales and marketing class.
Prerna had handled it well, quiet by the book.
The case studies, the project works and role rehearsals.
As outspoken I was outside the class, the more I found myself dumbfound, in front of her.

We had known that she had done some real sales work at Blue-dart and thus had a command in performance sales, something that was only theory for us.
Later, as we moved on and faced numerous sales calls, we remembered all that she had preached.

All of us, of that batch have moved on in life.
and Prerna still has some inspiring stories for us.

It is only after a gap of 14 years, that some of us got together to know of what had gone through Prerna’s life in these years.
Having been diagnosed with breast cancer, some 11 years ago, she has been fighting the disease even though it spread to almost all parts of her anatomy. Hip, spine, thigh and even eye and brain.
For a woman to having survived 11 years of grueling pain is an accomplishment. She even had a baby in the course.
Managed the household and was never a burden on anyone, Vivek enlightens us.
Her husband Vivek finds inspiration in his wife and so it was him who’d nomenclature her.

Prerna, just published a book, by her name, being launched by Dia Mirza, with the help of Cancer society.
Some people surely live worth their name.
I wish her the best in life and beyond.
It is nice having known you Prerna.

homan err..aah!

Is it worth this effort?
Have I lost an inspiration?
Have I hurt my silly little ego?
Am I looking for a hundred lame excuses?
Why am I not looking for one to forget it all?
Do we need a reason for all?
Could it not be like before?
Why don’t those faces reach my dreams anymore?
That perpetual smile is no more
Why is there so much of distance?
Why were all the imperfections admired then?
Why do they seem like folly now?
Why do I feel like existing in virtuosity?
Just a number, a digital face and a crackled voice,
Why do feel like an electronic pulse on some memory chip,
Wasn’t I just an admirer?
Why do I seek some stupid truth now?
Why does my fickle mind wish to control others?
Is it that we have found a utility in each of us?
That’s what had bothered you then and it bothers me now,
It was so good when we were useless,
When it was so human to err.

Tilling a Society

The recent carnage in khagaria district of Bihar has more to it than meets the eye.
Over 3 dozen armed criminals in Icharua village dragged 21 men, mostly youths, from their homes and after taking them to an isolated area, shot and killed 16 of them. Others managed to escape in the cover of the darkness.
There have been blame game and soon the story will be a forgotten one, like many other such incidents.
Incidents like this though just keep adding up for further events which will happen in the future. Issues related to land do not get forgotten in this part of the world. The rest of the world might forget it, but the classes here, take cue from this one to form the next bend for the society. It might not affect the rest of the world directly, but a flutter of a butterfly effect would surely bring rain in the rest of the country.
This issue sure looks like a law and order problem to begin with. Of course it is, but it is deep rooted in the concept of property rights.
The cast war, the Maoist or Naxal problems, the land mafia’s, the criminal-politician-bureaucrat nexus, in Bihar, the roots of all lay here. In fact, my bet is the recent debacle of the ruling JDU-BJP combine in Bihar also has roots here. The suspicion over implementation of Bandopadhya committee report did not get unnoticed in the core of the Bihar’s society.
Land reforms and revenue based models on land, right from the days of mughal period till date, have added pages of history to form what the lands and people of Bihar are today.
It’s a fact that, the last survey that is acknowledged by the courts still is that of the British; all frivolous efforts of the Indian government still do not stand on the courts of law. To complicate issues they have the survey of the 1953 still unfinished, the land consolidation- a closed chapter, the land ceiling act, the bataidari act, the laws for the riverine areas, the bhoodan movement, and once in a five year term, they pass a land reforms act.
Every government that is in power distributes thousands of acres of land to lakhs of people every year. Of course reasons are the same as NREGA or Rs. 2 per kg of rice. Whether the land really belongs to the government and if it is in their possession is not important. People settle scores buy distributing parchas of someone else’s land too.
It would be an impossible task to have a single remedy or a quick solution to all this.
However, we need to think beyond just a law and order problem.
Is there a liberal solution to it? I propose to have a panel discussion on the issue and prepare a recommendation for all interested in a near solution, if possible.
Please do put in your suggestions.

The End of Socialism?

"The FDP has had the great good luck that they aren't currently part of the federal government and they haven't been associated with the crisis," Dietmar Herz, a professor of political science at Erfurt University, told SPIEGEL ONLINE. "Partially as a result, the party has been able to develop an image of economic expertise."

It couldn’t be clearer: No new taxes. Germany has decisively rejected the tired nostrums of the Social Democratic Party, which campaigned on raising taxes on the wealthy and was the junior partner of the Christian Democrats in a grand coalition during the past four years. The Social Democrats turned in their worst performance in the history of the Federal Republic, winning a mere 23 percent, while the Free Democratic Party (FDP) polled a record 14.6 percent. The Christian Democrats crawled across the finish line with 33.9 percent.
The 47-year old from Bonn will become Germany's first openly homosexual vice-chancellor and could win more than the normal three cabinet positions traditionally reserved for the junior partner in a coalition government.
The FDP leader is best known at home for his espousal of Thatcherite economic reforms. But it is his position on Afghanistan that will make him the welcome face of Germany's foreign policy among the country's allies.

“To the point where they’ve consigned one of the political cornerstones of modern Germany, the Social Democrats, a party founded in 1869, to the trash can of history, or close enough. The S.P.D. collapse to 23 percent of the vote, not the strong showing of the F.D.P., was the seismic shift of the election.” ROGER COHEN NY times.

It is to be seen now, how it effects the other European nations in policy change, if there is some indication from the German results, change in Europe will mark global depression for socialism.
Is it not time for Indian liberals and free market sympathizers to rethink their strategies for a liberal political alternative?

a little less or a little more

There is a little less glow in the mighty sun
The silver like sheet is a little dull
in the moon the calmness seems a little less,
lesser seems the flutter of that butter fly,

the rivers meanderings seem a little slower,
the tide of the ocean have a fewer surfs,
rustle of the leaves, flow of the wind,
heat of the fire, even agony and ire
here, they all seem less

but it seems,
in another land
beyond seven seas,
the cold days and frozen nights
now have a soothing moon and a sun so bright,
the birds are chirpy a little more,
ice has melted and river's flow,


an element of nature
is this for real or does it just seem,
a little less or a little more.

i wish

I wish to see you see the sun setting by the sea,

I wish you see the same sun rise from the mountains.

I wish you see the sky turn dark from crimson and again herald dawn.

I wish you see the dark sky gather stars,

I wish to see those stars twinkle in a tune.

I wish to see that song and hear them dance.

I wish to see your eyes move to the rhythm.

your lips slight open and turn wider with awe.

Your cheeks bulb and touch your eyes.

You feel the universe,

The unity and absolute freedom,

Essence of life,

Futility and necessity

Creator and chaos,

Face glows, loosens your body, you stretch your arms and squeeze that hand.

All I wish that hand was mine.

in pursuit of happiness

It has so been in last few months,
I have learnt a little better to handle life.
I also suspect that in the process
Souls in my orbit have also found a synchronicity.

I evolve to understand
That only soul important enough to satisfy is one’s self.

And with the mighty sun being metaphorically fixed in a spot
Rest of the heavenly bodies find place
Here they find peace.

So I am in pursuit of happiness
As this is not just important for me
Also, for the happiness of the rest of the universe.

But I am no sage
And do not wish to be one,
Detached, only to an extent of being able to feel the pain and joy of this world.

So I need to go about the worldly chores,
Within the societal set norms,
Reach, achieve, preach and practice
Face all kinds of evolving human traits
In the bargain
Hurt some and some hurt you,
Joy and pleasure are a part of happiness
But sorrow is not what you are seeking
Guess it’s a package.

If I set some goals and achieving is like winning,
Then there are bound to be losses.

A friend just enlightened,
“Fight because it’s just, not to loose or win”

Pico Iyer confirms my observations

“I’m not sure I knew the details of all these lives when I was 29, but I did begin to guess that happiness lies less in our circumstances than in what we make of them, in every sense. “There is nothing either good or bad,” I had heard in high school, from Hamlet, “but thinking makes it so.” I had been lucky enough at that point to stumble into the life I might have dreamed of as a boy: a great job writing on world affairs for Time magazine, an apartment (officially at least) on Park Avenue, enough time and money to take vacations in Burma, Morocco, El Salvador. But every time I went to one of those places, I noticed that the people I met there, mired in difficulty and often warfare, seemed to have more energy and even optimism than the friends I’d grown up with in privileged, peaceful Santa Barbara, Calif., many of whom were on their fourth marriages and seeing a therapist every day. Though I knew that poverty certainly didn’t buy happiness, I wasn’t convinced that money did either.”

I am quite convinced by both the observations.

Realizing that,
Attachment and detachment
To every activity, goal, person or material
To the extent of having complete awareness of the futility of the objective.

It seems impossible
This Gita like Gyan,
Makes sense only when a close soul departs, in 12 day mourning period
It is also ironical that,
The sermons of Gita
Which should actually detach you from the world,
Lets you fight for it.

I am already in the grind,
Mid way,
There are prescribed posts of success which we all have to strive hard enough to achieve

I can surely draw a line in pursuit of peace.
So what is that I want?

Kids being able to read Robinson Crusoe.
Write long letters to me.
Being able to retain the jewelry that my wife got from her or my parents.
A comfortable abode,
Friends who can buy you a decent drink
Do without Viagra till I am sixty
Love and not seek reciprocation,
Reciprocate to unconditional love
Forgive everyone within an hour.
A good nights sleep
See the world.

Lets see if this finds me bliss.

aroma therapy

all the blood running in your veins,
pumped by your heart
reaching every cell of your body,

temperature being controlled
by the radiation of tiny droplets of water on your skin,
sweat
mixed with every other hormone and elements,
form an essence
an aroma

through my organ for smell
reach into my blood, veins and heart,
mingling with the elements within

form an aura of you
tingling my senses
keeping me alive

till another day

of the physical
I have achieved
sight, sound and now smell

touch and taste are just for a mortal ending

i-me-baak

its been a while.
Last few months have been more of rigour and less of vigour.
The thought of Wanting to share my walk has eluded.
Or maybe I was looking away from the audience, forgetting that it was all solitary me all the while.
I realise again,
That's its always me.
with the new gadget,
I am baak.

Obitiuary to a common man.

As I Dip Myself in almost zero Degrees of Ganga Water at "Har ki pauri- Hardawar" at one in the morning, cleansing my soul and body, I Think of the deceased, whom I just saw returning to the elements he was composed of.

Devendra Prasad Singh, a 67 year old, humble, retired draftsman, from Kosi Project.
Native of Kararia Village, Seohar district of Bihar.
Survived by 2 grandsons, 2 sons, and 5 daughters.
Was living in Delhi for last 3 years, just next to the hospital he was living in more than his rented home.
Ailing from hyper resipiratory infection for years, though expired due to intestinal infection.
He Died a satisfied Man.
He Had lost his wife almost a decade Back, who died due to cancer.
He was a sort of Dhoti clad R. K. Laxman's "common Man".

But for one thing, that he did manage to educate his Son to be at IIT.
That made all the difference.
To have all responsibities taken care of, before he breathed last.
House, Settled and married sons and daughters, perhaps lived for last 5 years on medical asistance.
One Single achivement, not always directly yours, makes so many things look so sensible.
May his soul rest in peace.

Reminder for love.

on a valentine night,
as I close my eyes,
mould my usual dreams,
to ease the nerves,
force a smile,
for a blissfull sleep..

My fingers entwine,
into yours,
touching tips exchange,
cosmic energy that ignites the rest,
of soul and its carrier.

How is it that there is just one day for reminder,
for bringing you into my orbit,
rounds that we are destined to take,
journey for some uknown reason and destination,

the distance and the proximity,
all predetermined,
not just to one but many.

The annual day for love,
a frame which generates in a test tube and survives in an incubator,
is past today and I am reminded of my carelessness.
For I see difference between Romance and love,
for I dream of Romance,
and live the love.

Mindful of Pink

I have been reading “mindful eating’ by tich nhat hanh, usually during eating, that’s the best of mindful I could do.
Just when I was practicing “orange mediation”, of course while simultaneously reading and eating, a pair of black and white, pink panties distracted me from the mindful.

It was Jug suraiya’s second opinion on power of pink, of course the article originates from Pramod muthalik of sri Ram sene, Mangalore pub attack fame guy, and goes on to Barbara cartland to pink chaddi campaign.
It was a difficult exercise to practice mindful eating with pink underwear at your site, even if they are edible.
Now what is Mr. Muthalik going to do with those truck loads of the lingerie he is set to receive!
If one should be mindful, about one thing, he should be about the rest of his daily consumption as well. Pink chaddies here.
It is advised to the beneficiary that, he should carefully look at the article of usage and by being mindful sees the cosmos in it, see the sunshine and earth in it. Smile to it before consumption. Take deep breaths, and place it o the palms of your hand so that the object becomes a reality. Visualize, as it blossom through sunshine and rain see it grow and come to life. See it becoming a miracle.
Smell it, touch it with all your senses and consume It. fully aware of the juices it contains and the origin.
This makes the joy of life possible.
Well Mr. Muthalik will have a lot of thinking to be done once those loads arrive.

Obituary to Gautam Goswami

Gautam Goswami, a 1991 batch IAS officer and winner of the prestigious Time Magazine's "Young Asian Achiever Award" died of pancreatic cancer on 6th of january.

He was 41 and is survived by his doctor wife and two sons. Goswami, who is also an MBBS, was a resident of Dehri-on Sone in Bihar's Rohtas district and was an accused in the multi-crore Bihar flood relief scam.

I Visited his wife and kids with a friend of mine who knows them well.
I owed him this visit for a good gesture he once obliged me with.

Gautam had saved me from the wrath of an over enthusiastic Superintendent of police , Shobha Ahotkar, who was recently awarded a presidents medal.

He was the District Magistrate of Vaishali, my home district, in 2002 and I had met him for an arms licence, which he said he will look into.

later during elections, a candidate was shot on the booth, right opposite my house and i was taking him to the hospital.
DM and SP's cavalcade stopped me on the road, and found a bleeding body at my rear seat, the cop lady assumed me to be the culprit and dragged me by the collar.
it was that timely intervention from Gautam who recognised me, that I got a chance to explain myself and continue to the hospital, or else I would have been admitted my self.

For days till today I did follow his life. He was the gen next IAS officer, simple in lifestyle, but flamboyant in aspirations.
His bollywood style made him a hero in the media, who were looking for some good stories out of Bihar, He took the stories of the Media too seriously and started to beleve in them. He stopped Advani from speaking beyond the 10 PM deadline.

The citation read: "When flash floods hit the Indian state of Bihar in July, millions of people were displaced from their homes, many without access to food or drinking water.

A catastrophe was looming, and Gautam Goswami did more than anyone to avert it."

One Aravind Adiga authored the citation, the then South Asia correspondent of Time. It is one of the great ironies of fate that whereas the much lauded relief effort caused Gautam's fall from grace, embroiling him in charges of misappropriation of funds, the writer of the citation went on to win the Booker Prize last year for his debut novel, The White Tiger.

His drawing room is full of those plaques and engraved cups, As he rubbed shoulders with Shahrukh Khan to get the Time Hero of the year award. He aspired to get bigger than Big.
His Wife tells us he wanted to go really too far, bigger than he could do any thing here, join politics et al.

For some one no more, I shouldn't comment more.
But Gautam is not the only of his types. brilliant people loosing goals, a generation getting mugged by hype.
Don't they realise, some things are inevitable.

Together

It’s been 10 years since we agreed to walk this path together,
A decade is a mile stone, for having seen the mysteries of this journey through a common eye.
We saw the same things,
Apprehensions, joy, fear, pleasure and pain,
We felt them all,
Though differently.

For all the differences,
We have managed to improve our individuality
And still create a common entity of us.

For the decades yet to come,
For the miles that are yet to be covered,
Awe still to be experienced,

To see at least two sides all the time,
To practice the core of journey,
Tolerance and respect,

None can do without each other,
Two I, becomes a pillar
A check for a balance,
A black for a white,
Ying for a yang.

How we go together,
Could it be anyway better?

Half A Moon

I sit here,
Basking in half a moon,
Thinking of you occasionally,
Nursing the contents of Tom Collins,
Amidst, fifty three coconut grooves.

Incomplete heavenly object,
Reflections of my past……!,
Just like you,
Bright on borrowed light,

Dark half is my ignorance,
For you are complete,
The spots, mark of your individuality,
Might, bother a bystander.

For I am a part of you now,
A part of the spot,
The light and the sightseer.

Knowledge, faints fantasy,
Dream and pleasure.

Laws of the universe,
Aren’t good enough to buy me solace.

How I fight to believe in what I wish.

Romance is of course a romance,
One could call it blatantly a lie, a fantasy,

It does give life, a day, the moment, an event a purpose.

For me today half a moon is a purpose,
To find the rest.

Tribute to the goddess.

The day for this occasion couldnt have been better.
Neha gets her first ever earning on the day of the Basant Panchmi, more auspiciously called "sarawasti Puja".
Its a big time celebration here in Bihar on this day, though ironic for the low litteracy rates, but the importance for knowledge is surely felt.

Neha though having been instrumental in managing our business and is entitled to a salary, gets this first renumearation for data entry of elction candidates at a website called, "empoweringindia.org"

it is truly an achievemnt in senses more than one, as the purpose of work is as satisfying as the source of generation of income.
well atleast one person i know is empowered today and understands the utility of skills, knowledge and information.
A true tribute to the godess.

Slumdog millionaire

Slum dog millionaire
Well, it seems it might gain some half a dozen Oscars after all.
The world wants to listen to the dark side of the Indian story,
Well, it’s hardly a good flick,
And wouldn’t even go close to the block buster,’
Neither is it a true Indian story,
For Jamal would have never won,’ and would have finished his life, in some prison or slum.
But it’s not what Americans want to see either,
“here is the true American heart son”!!
Na Na Na…yu might be lion heart,
But money cant buy me love!!

Re-public day and more

Why is it that some people take away the words that you meant more religiously?
Gurucharandas wrote things that I would meant to post this day more seriously,
About Raju on his birthday coinciding on our 60th republic!
Raju of Satyam did what dhritrashtara did for his sons.
Of course, it was not the dharma,

Corporate identity and responsibility is not far beyond dharma,
Once one incorporates shareholders beyond the family,
Extension of this family lays beyond sharing the womb.

It’s a tough task, to irrelate, to relevance,
To consider the company an identity a separate one,
Where no one in blood and flesh stands.


And the one who do are called representatives of people
And who do not necessarily do represent people.

Raju, lost himself to two filial obligations,
The representatives and the sons.


And Gurucharandas has already written on much ado about nothing.

Obama For Hope

In an ever changing, ever evolving world, yesterday at Washington noon, we were told to realize the obvious.
A speech rehearsed umpteen times, inspired by a Hollywood scriptwriter, presented by a, to be symbolic hero of our times graced with the politically correct color in a perfect theatrics mode.
As if the calendar were to change from noon, as if Magna Carta were reprinted, a second issue.
Every thing about this presidency is hype and propaganda.
The combined of the top of the pyramid is selling hope like they sell soap.
For that’s what our very own laloo ji taught them what they don’t teach at Harvard.
Social justice sold better than roads.
Well so it occurred it in the U.S of America, the race sold better than the best. Words, media, hype and popularity scored over all else.

It is too much to expect from someone who is not even there as yet. The world makes a hero out of no one just to sell their commodity. Facts are hidden and jingles are formed to hit the nail.
Some where in all this an essence is lost, there is a decline in recognizing the true meaning of democracy, laloo an many more in India are a true example of what democracy can be reduced to.
Lets not get affected by the trivialities, lets not loose the thinking minds and believe what they say 60 times for a duration of 90 seconds using colors just as important to get your first attention, perfected jingles and products placed at your eyelevel.

Let’s go a little beyond that, and question the conventional, that is how change is born.
We don’t know what Obama could do; we know what we could do, lets not let the hype get to us as much that they could sell even their failures well packed and make us pay twice for that.
But then hope is the only way humanity has known for its continuous survival for ages.
And if the humans need symbols for everything, and Obama happens to be a symbol for hope, than be it.
Better still be to place your hope in engraved stones, churches, temples and mosques. They make no mistakes, and leave all the judgment to the individual.
After all every foot forward will be ours and ours only.

Happy Birthday

like flowing water on the ground,
life was scattered,
you meandered and channelized
into a fine rolling stream,
and days turned into events,
every day was looked forward to,
nights were dreamy and short,
humanity had touched me,
for many a first

it was a moment in life,
which had purpose and a sense of awakening,

in that dimension,
i could call it love,
cause it never happened again,
at least not the same way,
every moment similar since then
was compared and I didn't miss you,
as you were there,
in loss in gain,
in joy in pain,

of course things change,
they are supposed to,
you made a large difference to me,
good or bad i owe you one,

sometime though in this life,
would surely wish to speak in your eyes
the many words i have learnt just to thank you enough.
Happy Birthday.